Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to attend this conference this evening.  Some of you may have heard the rumors floating around about me, and I decided to get out in front of this and make a statement on record before it got out of control with wild speculation and gossip.

For the record:

I am not, nor have I ever been, Leonardo DiCaprio.  Yes I can see how you might think that, if it were foggy out, and perhaps you’d forgotten your glasses that day.  And had an eye injury.  I guess we are both blond.

It’s like looking in a mirror!

(Photo of LDC by Falkenauge, via Wikimedia Commons)

Furthermore, I have also never been within 100 yards of Harry Potter, much less actually been him.  According to my research, he is in fact, a fictional character. But I can see how you could think that, if I was wearing my glasses, was quite far away, was wearing a hat so you couldn’t tell that I was blond…and the rules dividing reality and fiction had ceased to function on that particular day.

I’m truly flattered that you think I am, or at the very least resemble, these wonderful famous people.  But I hope that we can move on and put these unfortunate rumors behind us, before the attention goes to my head and I try to pick up a group of Japanese girls in a bar by telling them about my time working on Titanic.

Thank you.

Wow, You Look Just Like…!

I can’t say it happens to everyone but if you spend some time making friends in Japan at some point you will probably be told you look like some famous foreign celebrity.  I suspect if you were willing to lie and act the part a little, you could actually get mistaken for them.

Dan was Jack Bauer. Maybe it’s the nose?

My Dad is Sean Connery…the later years version.  I think it’s the beard.

(Photo of the former Bond by Stuart Crawford, via Wikimedia Commons)

One of my favorite sumo wrestlers, a fellow from Bulgaria named Kotooshu, has been referred to as the “David Beckham” of sumo.  I guess they have kind of the same…eyes?  Maybe?

Myself, it depends on whether I’m wearing my glasses or not, and the age group I’m dealing with. I get DiCaprio a lot. Blond hair.  I think that’s about it.  Elementary and Middle school kids like to compare me to Harry Potter, as long as I’m wearing glasses of some kind.

As if they knew what I was writing, today the lovable scamps at Daiichi Middle School had written on the schedule board “Tom Cruise school visit”. That’s a new one for me.  But then again the class next door had written “Minister Madame school visit. Amen. (Picture of the cross)” so maybe they’re all just insane. They also said if I mess with my hair I look like Draco Malfoy.  I will never live down the works of J.K. Rowling.

The Celebrity Doppelganger Game is a truly strange, and seemingly wide-spread phenomenon that most (I suspect, though have no actual proof, that Asians in Japan don’t get to play) expats in Japan get to enjoy.

Whether or not you actually look anything like Mr. DiCaprio is irrelevant. The minute someone compares you to him your already baselessly high social credit is given a major PR boost.  Not to mention that it’s hard to stay insecure when people keep comparing you to handsome, popular, famous people.  Maybe this is part of where the whole Charisma Man comic was coming from.

Either way, it is also just incredibly funny.

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For any foreigners in Japan reading this, or people who have traveled in Japan who want to play along:

What celebrities have you been compared to?

Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity, instead of just compared to one?